Let’s talk about love
I’ve been a world traveler for many years. I’ve been to over 20 countries and been an expat in two. Suffice it to say I’ve seen a lot. As I climbed into my 30’s I began to realize that man-whoring around the world just wasn’t cutting it for me anymore.
Now add that most guys that approach you just want money and you can imagine how tough love can be. That being said it’s not impossible.
Relationships are tough if you’re going to date abroad. The reality is 90% of those local men approaching you are looking for money and nothing more. That doesn’t mean it is not possible to find a loving relationship in your travel destination or your new home. You just have to be careful. Here are some useful tips:
Find a guy that doesn’t need you. If you’re dating a guy that tells you he’s unemployed or has a shitty job he’s already telling you why he’s interested in you. You want an educated stable man. You’re probably not going to find a guy like that on an international dating site.
Big heads are better than little ones. I get it. That young hot and smooth lad is nice to look at. Just know if you want to buy it’s going to cost you. ‘Buy; is the proper verb since that’s exactly what you’ll be doing. If you want that smooth 19 y/o anticipate supporting not just him but his entire family as well. Frankly, it’d be cheaper to just pay someone to spend the night with you. Use your big head not your little one.
Out is better than in. If you’re looking for an actual relationship then you want a guy that is openly gay. In the developing or 3rd world many straight acting men are in fact straight. While it’s difficult for many western men to image a straight man willingly engage in gay sex the truth is it happens all the time in the developing world. Desperation is king here. You’re much better off dating a guy that out and proud than a closet case.
You can’t buy love. You can buy his time, his attention, or even his body but you can’t buy love. No amount of money or expensive gifts is ever going to make him love you. Don’t believe otherwise
You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. If the premise of knowing him was a travel guide with benefits (escort) then that’s all it’ll ever be. A guy that is mentally programmed to do a job, in this case, walking with you during the day and getting you off at night-is doing just that, a job. When I was working at a cell phone company I was one of the top salesmen there. It’s what funded my initial travels. My secret to success? I was good at making people think I actually gave a damn about their lives, the lives of their children, and/or friends. Here’s a hint; I didn’t. My goal was to sell a cell phone. That’s it. It’s the same for these guys. I say this not to be harsh but to be honest. It’s a monetary transaction and nothing more.
Please don’t settle for a gold digger
There’s this misconception that finding love is easy in South East Asia and its just not true. Finding sex is incredibly easy, even finding someone to spend time with you in exchange for some cash is easy but love? No that’s tough. A lot of guys just figure ‘well its better than nothing’ but nothing can be further from the truth: Here’s why you shouldn’t settle for a gold digger:
A gold digger may spread his legs in the beginning but you’ll notice it getting harder and harder to get him to put out, He’ll always have excuses on why he can’t have sex with you. Finally, when you threaten to end the relationship he’ll acquiesce but you’ll know his heart isn’t in it.
A gold digger will never stop asking for money and the requests will get larger and larger. A smart gold digger starts small but then his financial woes will begin to escalate until finally, he’s literally asking you for thousands of dollars. An acquaintance here in the Philippines bragged to me that he got a German guy to buy him a house.
A gold digger will spend less and less time with you. The goal is every gold digger is to get as much money as possible with as little effort as possible. In the beginning, he may spend a lot of time with you as a true partner would but then you’ll start getting excuses on why he can’t come over or why he has to stay at his mom’s house. This despite the fact that it was his idea to move in right away in the first place.
A gold digger is laughing at you behind your back. A gold digger is showing his friends all the text messages you’re sending him professing your love. He’s brandishing the money transfer receipts as momentoes of his deceitful accomplishments. He’s mocking your pleas for attention and affection when you’re not around.
A gold digger will drain you and move on. Once your money is gone so too will he be.
Finally and most importantly a gold digger doesn’t love you. He’ll never love you and you deserve better than that. You can buy his time, even his body, but you can never buy his love.
Consider dating closer to your age
I get it. That young smooth (but legal!) body is hard to resist but honestly how much do you and a 19-22-year-old have in common? Could you keep up with him at the club? Do you even want to try? Your best bet at getting a genuine relationship is to get someone at least relatively close to your age
Please don’t be a dick
Some ‘victims’ came here to SE Asia looking for a young sex object then get shocked when they’re treated like an atm machine. Just because they’re mostly poor it doesn’t mean they’re dumb. You’re not the first tourist they’ve encountered.
They know the game or they’ve heard stories of their friends being promised a green card and getting scammed. If your intentions are not good you increase your chances of being scammed. Honestly, there is no reason to scam for sex. Sin is cheap in SE Asia. Why prey on the hopes and dreams of a desperate person?
Also, I know it’s easy to get bitter after you’ve been scammed but please realize not every guy that is interested in you is a gold digger. Give them a chance. You’ll know pretty quickly into the ‘relationship’ what his true intentions are. You being a bitter dick is only going to push away the good guys.
Don’t give up!
Gay dating abroad is a numbers game. Yes, maybe the first 10 guys that approach you will just want your money but so what? You only need one that is sincere and you get along with well.
There are a plethora of guys here that are genuinely seeking love and age is not important. Just like its tough for you, it is tough for them too especially for bottoms. Most bottoms are attracted to straight men and some straight men take advantage of that. That’s why many bottoms will go for someone much older than them.