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Dealing With Rejection the Right Way & How to Get Rejected Less

Tommy was so happy he had a boyfriend with awesome abs and the sex was great. But one day right after he got out of the shower he got a text ‘can’t do this anymore…sorry’. What the fudge?! After he just bought the guy an expensive watch he was getting dumped?! He knew the guy was gay-for-pay but still! He figured after all the money he spent on the guy from concert tickets to giving him free trips that he had earned better treatment than that!

Straight Guys & Gold Diggers

Guys, please don’t settle for a gold digger. I’ve talked to a couple of members, one a gay  bottom and the other a foreigner looking for a masculine top, who decided to go out with a guy that they knew was just looking for money.

I strongly advise against doing this. If you date a guy who wants money your relationship will be quite expensive. Plus, he’ll start asking for more and more money while at the same time having sex with you less and less.

I have a straight friend that left his gay boyfriend even though the  bottom granted all of his financial requests. He said he just couldn’t take sleeping with a gay anymore even for money. Sadly, the gay was so badly hurt by this even though he knew it was a monetary transaction.

If the only way you can climax is with a masculine top it’s better to just have a friend that you pay on a per transaction basis.  It’s actually cheaper just to pay whatever it costs for a few hours in the bedroom each time than to be his ‘boyfriend’. Once you become his ‘boyfriend’ he’ll begin pressuring you to pay whenever he has some sort of financial ’emergency’ like his baby’s momma needs tuition money or he needs $1,000 because his car broke down.

If you are doing this please don’t pretend it’s a real relationship because you may be setting yourself up for a lot of pain. I know dating can be tough for us but please remember that you can’t buy love…

Dealing with Rejection the Right Way

Rejection is a part of dating and even the most handsome masculine top will have to face rejection at some point in his life. The sooner you learn how to deal with rejection the proper way the happier you’ll be.

If you get rejected by someone you really like the first step is to evaluate why he rejected you. They may not be forthcoming with the reason but most of the time you can read between the lines. Was he way out of your league? There’s nothing wrong with pursuing someone out of your league it’s just that if you do please understand that rejection is something you’ll have to deal with more often.

Did you approach him with a sense of entitlement? I see this problem with wealthier white men towards young men of color and masculine tops mostly. The masculine top feels because people like him are highly sought after that he’s entitled to date whoever he wants. In addition, sometimes well-to-do white men will go into spaces for men of color and think because they are relatively rich that they can buy whoever they want. 

I remember I approached a young man in one of my groups and tried to chat him up. He politely told me that he was just attracted to white guys. It stung a bit but I accepted it and moved on. Please remember that dating is not a right! No one has the right to another human being no matter how masculine he is, how big his … is, or how much money he has.

Not dealing with rejection properly is the downfall of many men. In America, the rich movie producer Harvey Weinstein lost everything he spent his entire life working for–including the company he started–because he wouldn’t take no for an answer when women rejected his sexual advances. He let his ego get the best of him and tried to frustrate the careers of any female actress who dared reject his sexual advances. Serves him right.

I know a local businessman that lost almost half his fortune trying to buy a young man who was never interested in him in the first place.

How to Get Rejected Less

If you want to get rejected less then you should follow these steps

  1. Date guys closer to your own age. If you are 40+ and trying to date 18-year-olds then understand that money will almost always be a factor in the relationship
  2. Date guys around your weight. Everyone loves abs but very few of us have them. I’m not saying you have to have abs to get a guy that has them but don’t expect that unless you’re willing to pay for it or you have abs yourself.
  3. Be realistic. If you are loud and blunt then it’s not reasonable for you to expect a partner that is quiet and thoughtful with his words. If you are just making minimum wage then it’s not realistic to expect a millionaire to be attracted to you unless you are young and fit. However, even then be weary as his interest in you may only be physical and trust me you don’t want that.
  4. Look in the right places. Grindr is mostly for sex, period. If you want to meet a serious guy then go where serious guys go. You can try a site like Christian Mingle . This is a site for serious gay men who are seeking a long-term relationship that will eventually lead to marriage. They also allow you to see your matches for free. Another great choice is Compatible Partners. They require their users to fill out a long survey which is great as it weeds out those who are not serious. Another great thing about this site is you will only receive messages from those who have been matched to you. This will minimize the number of guys that you’re not interested in contacting you. The downside is it’s not free.

Read my review of Compatible Partners

Hang in There!

Gay dating is tough for us but it’s not impossible and yeah I can’t promise you’ll never get rejected again but if you follow these steps you can significantly minimize the rejection you will face. Also, be persistent and be patient and your new love will come sooner rather than later.  You are beautiful and don’t let anyone make you believe you are less than just because of who you are.

There's Light At the End of The Tunnel
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