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What You Need to Know About Gay Asian/Black Dating

Rod was a black American who was really into Asian guys. He really had been searching for a long time at home with no luck. Then he decided to look abroad. He managed to find the love of his life in The Philippines. They’ve been married for 5 years now and he couldn’t be happier.

What’s It Like Gay Dating in Asia as a Black Man?

Does race matter when trying to find a boyfriend in Asia? Yes! Many Asian men prefer white guys. It’s that simple. I’ve been to several different countries and sometimes the guys just acted like they were better than me or they just wanted something from me. Even when I’ve politely declined invitations for sex they struck back with racism.

In a qualitative study conducted by Paul, Ayala, and Choi (2010) with Asian and Pacific Islanders (API), Latino, and African American men seeking men, participants interviewed endorsed racial preference as a common criterion in online dating partner selection

The Potency of Race/Ethnicity Online

In Asian culture white skin=good black skin=bad. It’s not just Blacks either.  Darker-skinned Asians report being treated with disdain. It’s seen as a symptom of poverty since those with darker skin usually have some sort of work that requires them to be outside. That’s why you see even the poorest people spending 100s if not 1000s of dollars on skin whitening products.

You’ll find that many of them are eager to take you to their bed but far fewer would want to be seen holding your hand in public.

The Good News

As you read in the introduction, that doesn’t mean its impossible to find an Asian lover. My father and a few of my black friends have managed to good loving partners who love every inch of their black skin. Your skin does need to be thick though. It’s not like politically correct America where people are afraid to say what they think.

In my experience, some of them will tell you straight to your face that they don’t like black guys. Everyone’s experience is going to be different so let me just say the best way to know how dating in Asia will be for you is to try it for yourself. Second, the most important factor in dating success in Asia is not your skin color but your attitude. If your attitude is bad then or if you’re just a self-centered jerk then you probably won’t be successful in Asia or anywhere else for that matter.

Does That Mean White Guys Have it Easy?

Some white guys think because they have white skin that means finding their true love in Asia will be a piece of cake. While it’s true, it is easier to find a partner if you are white it doesn’t mean it’s easy. Okay, I take that back. If you’re a 20-something, masculine, white guy who’s in shape then yeah it’s not going to be that hard but most of those guys don’t want Asian partners anyway.

The majority of the white guys I see coming here tend to be older and overweight. That means even those guys will have to deal with a lot of gold diggers that just want something from them.  You can read my article on gay dating with a big age gap. I’m not trying to put mature white men down here. I’m simply saying don’t always assume the grass is greener on the other side.

How Do You Get a Boyfriend in Asia if You’re Black?

As a Black man, I can tell you that you can find a good loving partner in Asia. Don’t be discouraged because it seems like someone else has it easier. There are Asians here they like black men. The best advice I can give is not to give up and just keep trying. Don’t just go after the same type of guy that everyone else wants. Be open-minded and you can find true love here.

Tips for Successful Gay Black/Asian Dating

  • Just remember the average Asian dick size is 4-5 inches. So if you’re a black top be gentle with him. LOL!
  • If you’re an Asian bottom and never had a black top before…the old saying ‘love hurts sometimes’ comes to mind.
  • If you’re from the west you’re used to political correctness keep in mind that Asia is not that way. Be prepared for some ‘WTF’ moments.
  • When using a dating app just bear in mind most of the guys who will contact you at first will be looking to satisfy a fantasy and nothing more. Don’t be discouraged, just don’t put out right away. I have an article on signs a guy is serious or not.
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