Gay Guide to Living or Traveling Abroad
Gay Guide: You Need a One!
I cannot advise strongly enough the importance of having someone on your side to help you when you are traveling to developing nations where the rule of law of shaky at best. Even if you don’t find one on this site you can find a taxi, tuk tuk, or facebook friend to be your guide.
A friend of mine got caught up in a ‘I lied about my age and if you don’t pay me I’ll scream scam’ in Cambodia. Luckily he called his tuk tuk driver/guide who came to the hotel and told the kid to get lost. He was initially reluctant to hire a guide but that was the best $35 a day he’s ever spent in his life! My father was accosted in the Philippines by a group a thugs. It could’ve been much worse except for his guide telling the men ‘its ok guys he’s with me’.
Gay Guide: Relationships/Dating Abroad
Relationships are tough if you’re going to date abroad. The reality is 90% of those local men approaching you are looking for money and nothing more. That doesn’t mean its not possible to find a loving relationship in your travel destination or your new home. You just have to be careful. Here are some useful tips:
Find a guy that doesn’t need you. If you’re dating a guy that tells you he’s unemployed or has a shitty job he’s already telling you why he’s interested in you. You want an educated stable man. You’re probably not going to find a guy like that on an international dating site.
Big heads are better than little ones. I get it. That young hot and smooth lad is nice to look at. Just know if you want to buy it’s going to cost you. ‘Buy; is the proper verb since that’s exactly what you’ll be doing. If you want that smooth 19 y/o anticipate supporting not just him but his entire family as well. Frankly it’d be cheaper to just pay someone to spend the night with you. Use your big head not your little one.
Out is better than in. If you’re looking for an actual relationship then you want a guy that is openly gay. In the developing or 3rd world many straight acting men are in fact straight. While its difficult for many western men to image a straight man willingly engage in gay sex the truth is it happens all the time in the developing world. Desperation is king here. You’re much better off dating a guy that out and proud than a closet case.
You can’t buy love. You can buy his time, his attention, or even his body but you can’t buy love. No amount of money or expensive gifts is ever going to make him love you. Don’t believe otherwise
You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. If the premise of knowing him was a travel guide with benefits (escort) then that’s all it’ll ever be. A guy that is mentally programmed to do a job-in this case walking with you during the day and getting you off at night-is doing just that, a job. When I was working at a cell phone company I was one of the top salesmen there. It’s what funded my initial travels. My secret to success? I was good at making people think I actually gave a damn about their lives, the lives of their children, and/or friends. Here’s a hint; I didn’t. My goal was to sell a cell phone. That’s it. It’s the same for these guys. I say this not to be harsh but to be honest. It’s a monetary transaction and nothing more.
Gay Guide: Living Abroad
It’s really important that you know your surroundings before you plant your stakes somewhere. If you’re going to be openly gay I recommend a place that’s accepting of that. For most countries in the world that means the urban cores. You can also live outside of the city but I strongly advise you find and speak to other gay expats or local gays before moving to a rural area. I lived in a small town with no stop lights and one stop sign that was ignored. But you better believe I checked it out well and asked a lot of questions before I planted my stake there. I actually ended up having a great experience.
Gay Guide: Travel Buddies
You can easily find a guy to be your travel buddy. You can search search our membership database for a travel buddy. The same rules apply as above. Do yourself a favor and don’t expect anything other than a travel buddy. In addition please don’t be a dick and make him think it could be anything more than a travel buddy. If you’re going to get a nice young man please don’t promise or imply him a visa unless you really mean it.
So you’re not delusional about love or anything else? You’re just looking for some fun? Great! There’s plenty of that around. Grindr is always the go-to for that. I personally am not a fan of grindr as the guys tend to be a little too forward for my tastes. I much prefer facebook. People tend to be a little more polite and you get a better glimpse of the guy than you do with just an–shall we say–‘exceptional’ photo and a blurb. Just a few tips:
Ask for ID if he looks like he may be a minor
Discuss expectations. Don’t just assume he’s going to be into the same things you are.
Use condoms-HIV is rampant throughout SE Asia and other popular tourist destinations throughout the world. Don’t derail your entire life for one night! Remember in some places condoms can be tough to find especially in larger sizes. I recommend bringing your own.
Tell him he has to come to your hotel-you’re more in control that way
Don’t be afraid to say no! If he doesn’t look anything like his picture or you’re just not getting a good vibe you can just tell him you’re not feeling well, pay his cab fare home (please offer to do this its good karma!), and part ways.