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A Godly Dating Guide for Gay Christian Singles

One thought on “A Godly Dating Guide for Gay Christian Singles”

  1. Absolemn says:

    Thank you for your kind intentions, but I disagree with a lot of your points.

    I disagree with “dating to marry.” It puts unrealistic expectations on your date, and it gives you the false impression that you’re ready for marriage. It’s like taking your first swim lesson with the intention of winning an Olympic gold medal. You’re stressing over the medal, when you should be focusing on learning the basics and getting used to the water.

    I personally tried to “date for marriage” and then I felt pressure to move to Europe after 4 days of knowing the guy. Because oh, since I might marry him, I have to picture my whole life with him right? Wrong. I’ve only known him for a few days, so we were putting a lot of pressure on each other in a short amount of time. He wanted kids and I was too young to think about kids. He then started complimenting me on fatherly aspects of my personality in hopes that he can sway my opinion. Not the best thing to think about on the 2nd date.

    Let’s go back to the first point of only dating believers. While I personally would prefer to marry a believer, I think we have the freedom to date non-believers. Dating is really getting to know yourself and what qualities you want in a partner. Just be realistic with your date that you prefer to date believers and explain why.

    I think sometimes it may be too soon to marry the person. The author here made it seem like it’s okay to marry someone after only months of knowing them. I have friends with successful marriages after they’ve dated for a few months, but I also know friends that have dated for over 5 years. It really depends on the person. BUT I don’t think anyone should rush into marriage. I have friends who had failed marriages because the got married too early. They were naive and married for the wrong reasons. Usually because they married the first person that’s ever liked them, and society was expecting them to get married early. Please don’t rush into marriage, especially when you’re already having doubts about it.

    While most of my friends wait until marriage, it’s different with queer people. Opposite-sex couples have a clear definition of sex/virginity, while queer couples have a lot of nuance when it comes to sex. Don’t set arbitrary boundaries on sex, especially if you don’t have experience. Everyone should make their own personal sexual ethic, and not necessarily abide by some rule that just works for some people.

    Those are my thoughts on this topic. Hope more people can discuss this and I can learn from people who disagree with me.

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