Menu Close

How to Find a Gay Top

You met this guy who seems great and he assures you that he’s a ‘Versa top’.  But then when you make it to the bedroom he seems more ‘Versa’ than top. There’s no question that there are bottoms than tops in most places, with Arabia being the only place with more tops than bottoms.  So the next question is how to find a gay top?

How to Find a Gay Top

This is a little factitious because obviously, you find gay tops where you find gay people.  It’s no secret that most gay men meet their partners online, which is why you should start off trying to find a top online.


If you’re looking for just a top then Grindr would be the first place I’d start. Despite its well deserved bad reputation, it’s still the largest gay meeting app on the planet. However, if you’re looking for anything other than a hookup I’d stay as far away from Grindr as possible. I have an entire article on how Grindr could be what’s keeping you single in the first place.  Anyway, once you go on grindr look for profiles that say ‘top’ not versa top but just ‘top’.

Gay Dating Sites

If you want a relationship with a top then I recommend you try a dating site. There are a few sites that are good. You can see list of best gay dating sites for guys who are serious. My first choice, if you are really serious about finding a relationship that could lead to marriage, is Compatible Partners. It’s the vanguard of gay dating and you can read my full review of them here.

If you’re in between grindr and wanting marriage check out my list of other awesome gay dating apps. Whether you’re a bear, otter, twink, chaser, or tweaker, or just a regular guy there’s an app for that.

Move to Saudi Arabia

I’m not being totally serious here but in all honesty, the Arabian peninsula is the only place I know of in the world (and I’ve been to a lot of places) that has more tops than bottoms. I suppose it’s because if you’re a top you’re not considered to be gay in that culture. That being said homosexuality is technically illegal in most Arab countries so I wouldn’t risk jail time, or worse, just to get dick.

Related: 10 Countries That Will Kill You for Being Gay

The Big Masculine Top Myth

There’s one myth I want to dispell right now and that is that if a guy is more masculine he’s a top and if he’s more effeminate he’s a bottom. I’ve met masculine guys who are total pressies in bed looking to get pounded and ladyboys with 8 inches who love to pound guys deep into the sheets. There’s no real way to tell if someone is a bottom or top unless they tell you themselves.



There's Light At the End of The Tunnel
  Subscribe to my email list to receive free gay dating tips and my secrets to finally land a husband.
We respect your privacy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *