A lot of guys are frustrated because they can’t get a serious partner. That’s why you hear them saying things like, “all gay men are liars and cheaters” or “There aren’t any good guys out there”. So I figured I’d write this article to help you get a guy of substance to be your long term partner and who knows, spouse 😉
How to Get a Guy to Like You
If you want to get guys to like you try these things.
- Say Yes
- Consider alternatives to Grindr
- Try to be interesting
- Participate in discussion groups
- Don’t be desperate
- Stay Positive
- Confidence is key
- Check your expectations
If a guy asks you on a date, say yes unless you feel unsafe. Sometimes the universe sends us the best gifts wrapped in plain paper. Closing the door to someone because he isn’t necessarily your type could be blocking your blessing. Even if he doesn’t turn out to be your next husband going on more dates will help you to better communicate with and understand gay men better. It could also show you areas of opportunity for your own growth. That way you’ll be better prepared for when you go on a date with that guy you really have a crush on.
Consider Alternatives to Grindr
Grindr is still the app of choice for most gay men, and that makes sense because it’s the largest gay ‘dating’ app out there. But quite frankly, all of the ‘No [insert who you are]’ on the profiles and nasty responses you may get can Grindr quite toxic to the soul. In fact, Grindr could be what’s keeping you single, I have an entire article written on that. We’ve all heard of the one guy who met his husband on Grindr but that’s the exception, not the rule. If you want to find guys that are serious consider some gay dating apps/site alternatives. I have some in my best gay dating/apps page. There’s a reason why Grindr users are the most unhappy users of any app.
Try to Be Interesting
Far too often I see guys just posting pictures with their shirt off hoping to attract a good guy. BORING! Will a shirtless picture attract a guy? Sure. But if you want to attract a good guy you need to show something that is unique and interesting about you. Just a friendly tip, most guys who plaster their profiles with semi-nude photos of themselves online are just looking for attention, sex, or money, not love
Participate in Discussion Groups
Participate in discussion groups (like this one). People want a guy who can carry on a decent conversation. Nobody wants a relationship that consists of ‘hi, have you eaten yet?’ and ‘so…what are you doing now’. So lame…By participating in discussions you’re showing that you have the capacity to engage in interesting conversation. Participating in discussion groups will teach you how to communicate with other gay men more effectively so you’ll be ready when you go in private chats.
A Zero is Better Than a Negative
Desperation is never attractive and people are just naturally more attracted to guys that don’t need them. That’s why you notice whenever you’re in a relationship people start coming out of the woodwork declaring that they like you. If you send a guy messages begging for a relationship he won’t respect you, at best, and, at worse, he may take advantage of you. When it comes to relationships always remember a zero is better than a negative.
Yes, it’s okay to say you are looking for a long term relationship, in fact, I encourage it, but you should also add ‘with the right guy for me’. So instead of saying “I’m looking for an LTR”, when he asks what you are looking for you can say, “I’m looking for an LTR with the right person.”
Positivity is What You Need!
Be positive! Please don’t spend your conversations complaining about how your ex treated you or how everyone you’ve talked to asks you for money or nude pictures. Trust me, nobody wants to hear that and you’ll just come off as some bitter, desperate queen. Most of the time the only guys that will stick around after listening to you drone on about your ex will be the guys who just want something from you. When you are talking to a guy try to stay positive, he’s not your therapist. Remember, the purpose of the first few conversations is to find things that you have in common and to find out if he shares your values and objectives in life.
Confidence is Key!
Be confident. Most guys are attracted to guys who are confident. Even if you don’t have big muscles or a big something else, you can still be attractive in his eyes if you are confident about yourself. Oh, and it’s a huge turn off when you complain about your physical features fishing for compliments. The best way to be confident is to focus on your strengths instead of your shortcomings. Maybe you’re intelligent and a hard working guy. Focus on that instead of your physical attributes. You can also go to niche sites and apps that fit you. I strongly recommend mature and larger men try out the Growlr app. It’s totally free and is an oasis in the desert of mainstream gay culture.
Check Your Expectations
We all want the best guy we can get and there’s nothing wrong with that, but, it’s important that we keep our expectations in line with what we have to offer. I see far too many gay men who are simply way too picky and are frustrated because they’re still single. Clearly, I’m not suggesting you go out with a guy who makes you grimace when you look at him or a loser that doesn’t have a job or any means of supporting himself. I am suggesting you take a long quiet time to reflect on what you are expecting your future partner to be and what you have to offer in exchange. Only you can decide what you’re willing to be flexible on and what you must have.
Finding a guy isn’t rocket science. Too many gay men make getting a date far more complicated than it has to be. If you are single and don’t want to be then you should just put yourself out there and meet people. Every dud will get you one step closer to that date that may turn into your next husband.