As a gay Christian, I can say dating is really tough. I mean as a gay man my dating pool is already limited to 1 out of 10 men, add to that being a gay Christian who is serious about his faith, add even more to that when you factor in the drinking, smoking, and partying that the gay community embraces gay Christian dating can seem downright impossible.
Luckily there is a solution. Online dating, every boyfriend I’ve ever had I met online and I think most LGBT folks can say something similar. However, where you go online matters. I say gay Christians should stay away from Grindr, period. Heck, I’d say even non-gay Christians who are serious about dating should stay away from Grindr.
We all know that Grindr is basically a sexfest but even worse the judgmental attitudes you’ll receive from other members who have also been mistreated can serve to make you into some bitter old queen that nobody wants to be around. Yikes!
So what’s a gay or lesbian Christian to do? Simple. Find sites that cater to them.
Gay Christian Mingle
Christian Mingle, the site not the movie, is the world’s largest Christian site. It’s owned by the dating conglomerate, SparkNetworks. They’ve allowed LGBT’s onto their site for a few years now and the gay membership is steadily growing. When I went on there the pickings were slim, to be honest. But seeing as they allow you to set up a profile and search other members for free what have you got to lose right?
What’s nice about niche sites is that you don’t have to worry about filtering out those that don’t meet your criteria. For example on the app Growlr, it’s a bear app, by being on the app the members are saying by default that they are interested in dating larger men. The same thing goes for Christian Mingle. By being on the site the members are saying they are Christians who are looking to date other Christians.
Should Gay Christians Join Christian Mingle?
Christian Mingle has over 16 million users to date and is growing every day. What I like about paid sites is that people who are actually willing to put their money where their mouths are, tend to be more serious than someone that set up a profile by connecting their Facebook account for free. Christian Mingle used to let you set up your profile and review your matches for free. Check to see if they still do that.
If you are considering joining the Christian Mingle Community the site is a good resource for Christians who are looking for a life partner. In fact, it’s the largest Christian dating site in the world–boasting a membership of 16 million+. However, there are some cons that need to be considered so in order for you to make an informed decision I will give you the Christian Mingle Pros & Cons.
Christian Mingle Pros:
- Extremely easy to set up a profile. You can just import your Facebook information with one click, answer a few questions, and start seeing your matches
- Christian Mingle has a very large member base with over 16 million Christian singles.
- The Statement of Faith listed on the website is Biblically based and accurate.
- The website is clean and does not use sex to sell their service.
- Part of a large Christian network of sites that are all Christian based and work to spread the Christian faith.
- Sign up is completely free as well as browsing through your matches.
- Offers real Christian singles in your own area.
- Gives its members an entire page outlining how to keep you safe while using their site.
- There are both gays & lesbians on Christian Mingle
Christian Mingle Cons:
- Christian Mingle doesn’t perform background checks on its members which means you don’t get as much security as you do with other sites such as eharmony.
- As with any online dating website, the member profiles on Christian Mingle may not be accurate for both descriptions and photos.
- While Christian Mingle is designed for Christian singles, there is no guarantee that all the members are indeed Christian. They do have a questionnaire to help determine how on fire for Jesus they really are though.
- While the signup and browsing is free, this is a paid service that is offered and if you find somebody or some members of interest you will have to pay a small fee in order to begin talking to and getting to know them
Gay Alternatives to Christian Mingle
That’s all well and good but if the pickings are slim you still may not find what you’re looking for on Christian Mingle. So what are some good alternatives? One is Match.com. I personally haven’t used the site but I have friends who have and they were pretty happy with the results. Plus, due to its larger user base overall there are more guys to choose from. My favorite gay dating site is eHarmony, formally compatible partners. They use software to match you with the most compatible partner.
If you’re curious about gay dating as a Christian check out my article on Godly Gay Christian Dating.