You’ve been talking to Jomar through Facebook for 3 months. Now your online boyfriend is asking for money. What should you do? He’s a college student about to graduate soon and wants to pursue a career in medicine.
You guys have been skyping and Facebook messaging every day and it seems to be going great! “I’ve finally found one that loves me!” you think. Then it happens. During your next conversation, he says that his payment for his graduation fees of $250 are due and he doesn’t have the money and not sure what he’s going to do.
You enter into a dilemma. On the one hand, you want to be a supportive lover and help him out but on the other hand, you don’t want to be a sucker that gets scammed yet again. You ask yourself “Should I send my Filipino boyfriend money or not?” This article will help you make that determination and what to do when your long-distance boyfriend is asking for money.
The real question that needs to be asked here is: Is he legit or not? Let’s start with that first. Here are 5 signs your Filipino boyfriend is a scammer:
- Don’t send money without seeing his ID first! You want to be sure he is who he says he is before you even think about sending him one cent. Now what’s nice is there are dating sites like INGaydating.com that do this for you. If he makes excuses or just flat out won’t show you his ID it’s time to move on.
- Just doesn’t do the things that someone in love would do. People in love call often, will want their circle of friends and family to meet you, just want you around them as much as possible. Many victims report that their partner never spent that much time with them but always had clever excuses as to why not. There’s no excuse for someone in love to not make every effort to spend as much time as possible with you. Yes we have jobs, school, church etc but with text messaging and cell phones there’s no good reason you should go days without hearing from your partner. It takes 30 seconds to send a text message for goodness sake!
- Professes love too quickly and is rushing marriage. Victims report that their foreign lover told them they loved them like they’ve never loved anyone before and very quickly proposed spending a life together after just a few weeks. Marriage is serious–so what’s the rush?
- You catch him in lies or you find inconsistencies in his stories. If one week he tells you he lives with his aunt but the next week he lives with his brother-in-law it’s a bad sign. If he told you that he has a degree in biology when you first met but now you discovered he didn’t actually finish college that’s a really bad sign.
- If he’s a man and he’s not at least hinting at sex after 3 weeks or so then something’s seriously wrong. Yes there are a few men that want to remain chast until marriage but come on. Most foreign men regard American/Europeans as ‘easy’ which is why you see native guys going after foreign tourist girls. One victim’s report I read stated that she would have to threaten to end the relationship in order to get the guy to put out. If he always drinks alcohol prior to intimacy with you that’s another bad sign.
- His family treats you with indifference or flat out shows resentment towards you. Any loving family wants to know the person their family member is going to marry very well. Remember, marriage is integration into said family. Also, in most developing nations family is very important so be assured he cares very much what his family thinks of his partner choices. If his family doesn’t like you, just doesn’t seem interested in getting to know you, or even shows resentment toward you that is because they already know that you are nothing more than a means to an end for him.
If any of these things apply to your relationship I would hold off on sending any money until more time has passed.
The next question that we have to ask is: What is the true nature of your relationship?
Are you with him just because you’re looking for young & fresh meat to jerk off on camera for you? Your first instinct may be to say no but think about it honestly. How much do you and he really have in common? Do your conversations always seem to steer towards sex? Do you ask to see nude photos of him a lot?
Does he jerk off on cam a lot for you? If so then he’s expecting something in return for his time. So don’t be a dick and just send him something. It’s fine if you can’t afford the whole amount he’s requesting but send him something. If you don’t then just remember that karma is a bitch.
Related: The Best Ways to Send Money Online
If you’ve read the above warning signs and determined it’s a genuine relationship and his feelings for you are real and, most importantly you can afford to do it then yes you should send your Filipino lover some money. A relationship is about mutual respect, sharing, and helping each other even when it’s uncomfortable. If you absolutely refuse ever to send money or help him he’ll probably dump you (rightfully so) and/or begin looking elsewhere.
Think about it. Would you want to date a guy that’s stingy? I had a friend that was well off and never wanted to help anyone. I told him that I understood that people have tried to take advantage of him in the past and that he had to be cautious but no one likes a stingy douche bag. He insisted that he shouldn’t have to help anyone to get a man.
He told me this 5 years ago and is still single to this very day. Let’s be honest with ourselves. The reason you’re probably dating a guy from the Philippines is that he’s giving you the attention that other young guys at home won’t. I’m not saying you’re trying to buy a boyfriend, you should never do that, but chances are high part of the attraction for him is that by dating a foreigner he has someone that can help him out if he needs it.
Avoid being scammed in the first place! Follow the above signs to know if you are being used for money. If you feel like you are then here are some tips to help you find a high-quality guy in the first place! Stay away from students who are just looking for a sugar daddy to finance their education, those that don’t have a job, or who are about to be deported!
If you are single and looking online for love I’ve found one of the best ways to weed out creeps, scammers, and those who aren’t really serious is to go on a paid dating site. Ever heard the saying ‘put your money where your mouth is”? If someone is willing and able to pay to join a dating site that is a great sign they are serious and they have a stable job. Those with stable jobs are much less likely to be a green card scammer.
