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Real Ways to Tell if a Guy is Gay and Likes You

Are you looking for the signs that man is pursuing you? Despite what we may have been told guys can be shy as well and there are many situations where just coming out and declaring his love just isn’t possible. Whether it be because he’s at work or just doesn’t want to make the situation awkward. That’s why many guys will give more subtle signs that he likes you.

How to Tell if a Closeted Guy Likes You

While there may be subtle differences from person-to-person they all revolve around the same thing: a tendency to be in your company as much as possible.

Sign #1 He’s nicer to you than to other guys

A good person should treat others with respect but a guy that is interested in you will give you a little extra. Maybe you’ll notice he’s always opening the door for you or offering to carry your bag whenever he sees you. You can also notice him asking if your car is okay or something like that and offering to fix it even it’s a minor thing. This is to demonstrate his handy skills and show you his masculinity.

Sign #2  He is making an effort to be near you

Is he always sitting next to you or near you in church, work, class, or wherever? Does he walk with you when he sees you? You’ll start noticing a guy that likes you making excuses to see you and be near you. He should also be willing to go out of his way for you. If a guy gives you a ride home when you live on the west side of town but he lives on the east side that’s a very good sign he likes you.

Sign #3 He asks about gay sex & your relationship status

“I don’t understand how you can like guys when women are so beautiful…I mean don’t get me wrong. I’m just sayin”

That’s the extent of curiosity I’ve gotten from straight men when it comes to gay sex.

I’ve grew up in Northern California–America’s best place to be gay. Suffice it to say I’ve met plenty of straight guys who totally support LGBT rights and have no problem with homosexuality at all. However, not even once have I had a straight guy show curiosity in gay sex.

If the guy shows genuine curiosity in gay sex, chances are good he’s a closet gay wanting to explore his urges.  Seriously every ‘straight’ guy who’s asked me how does gay sex feel turned out to be gay.

Some men, like me, would just straight up ask ‘are you single?’ but some guys are more subtle than that. He may try to get you to volunteer your relationship status. If a guy is interested in you then you should notice questions like “so what do you do on weekends?” or “I’ve been single for 3 years how about you?”. If it seems like he’s trying to get you to spill your guts about relationship status that’s a great sign he likes you!

Sign #4 The eyes are the windows to the soul

Edgar Allen Poe said the eyes are the windows to the soul and it couldn’t be truer to tell if a guy likes you or not. Next time you see him look more closely at his facial expressions during your interactions. You want to look for pupil dilation as that’s an uncontrollable sign of desire. You also want to see if he raises his eyebrows or licks his lips when he’s talking to you. Also is his smile wide? What I mean is when he smiles at you do all of his front teeth show? When men like someone we tend to smile wider than normal without even noticing it.

Sign #5 He really listens to you

I admit it; we guys aren’t necessarily the best listeners but we try our best. What you’ll notice from a guy that really likes you is him making an effort to really listen to you. We know gay men liked to be listened to and when we like him we’ll definitely listen–especially for signs that the feeling is mutual.

When I was single I used to play therapist to get a guy to like me. Trust me, guys if a guy is playing therapist, unless he has a degree in psychology or something, it’s not because he enjoys listening to you gossip or complaining about your problems with the other gay guy down the hall, it’s because he likes you and is trying to gain your trust.

Related: How to Make a Guy Like You

Sign #6 He compliments you…a lot

Men know that gay guys like compliments and when we like a guy we like to compliment him. It’s not even something we think about. When we see him the first thing we say is “oh that’s a nice outfit” or “oh your cologne smells nice” without even thinking about it. Some of the less experienced guys may tell you that you’ve lost weight. Don’t take this personally guys; he’s just inexperienced but trust me he meant it as a compliment.

Sign #7 Is that he tries to protect you

Guys have a natural instinct to defend guys they like from threats whether they be animals, other guys, or even plants. If you see him watching out for you then that’s a good sign. If someone inadvertently says something you don’t like he may speak up on your behalf. When my friend was being courted by a ‘straight’ guy he told me the guy would swat insects away from him without even knowing what he was doing until after the fact.

Sign # 8 He likes you is that he introduces you to his friends & family

A guy looking for a spouse will want the approval of his friends and family. That’s why if he likes you he may introduce you to his friends to get their opinion of you before he proceeds. Usually, he’ll introduce you to his best friend or someone else close to him since their opinions are the ones he trusts the most.

Sign #9 He uses emoticons in his texts

What?!  ?? ? ?I know it sounds weird but think about it. It takes more time to type emoticons in a text. So if he’s spending more time on his texts that’s a good sign that he likes you. I find that guys in Asia like to use emoticons in their texts when they like a guy.  Some people just use emoticons with everyone so you’ll have to learn his style but if you see him using emoticons with you but with no one else it’s a good sign he’s really interested.

Sign #10 People compliment you two

Your friends might say something like ‘oh you two look great together’ or people may even think you’re already a couple. If this happens just ask him ‘I wonder why people keep saying we look good together? I guess it must be true’. That’ll be a good hint to him that you’re interested in him as well.

Sign #11 He gets jealous

How does he react when he sees you talking to other guys? When a man likes another man he hates to see him talking to other single guys. He may try to play it cool but trust me he’s steaming on the inside. You can tell if he comes around and politely interrupts every time he sees you talking to another guy. If he asks if you like him after you’ve talked to another guy that means he’s jealous. He may probe further about your feelings for the other guy. This is the way we guys size up our competition.

Sign #12 He tells you embarrassing stories

Maybe it’s a childhood story or some weird quark that he likes to keep under wraps. Whatever it is, letting go of your guard and revealing your own shameful past or idiosyncracies is not something most of us can do for just anyone. So if he is open with you, he might already like you. ?

Related: Gay Dating Tips for Beginners

Beware of false signs!

Sometimes when a gay guy gets the tickles for a guy he starts making up signs in his mind to convince himself the guy likes him. That’s why, if you notice, I didn’t just say ‘ask the universe for direction’. While any question should begin with meditation we must look objectively and listen for the universe’s answer.

In my church, the leader of our praise team is quite handsome and charming. Many of the guys had him in their sights during morning worship. Some would even try to convince themselves he liked them back. They would say he looked at them a long time during the praise songs. The truth is those lights are quite bright and he’s not looking at anyone. When he’s staring down it’s because the lights are so bright he’s trying to give his eyes some relief.

Most guys out of high school understand the onus is on them to let a guy know he’s interested. That means if he likes you he’ll make it known sooner or later. You don’t need to sit there and ponder so hard about it. If maybe you are talkative I would advise you to tone it down a bit and focus more on listening than speaking. The universe gave us two ears but only one mouth for a reason. If you’re tired of guessing you can check out my list of gay dating sites to meet guys who are serious about a relationship.

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    • TheGayExpat

      Actually there are differences between the two articles. I’m testing them. And seeing as I am the author of both I can’t plagiarize myself so there’s nothing unethical about it.

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