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Should You Kiss Him or Not on The First Date?

Ah yes, this guy you liked on Tinder replied back to you and now you’re on a date. You had a great convo at dinner and now you’re sitting in the movie theater. You’re holding hands and feeling butterflies in your stomach. He’s leaning into you and you want to kiss him so bad! But you’re not sure what to do because you don’t want to ruin the moment.

Gay Dating, When to Kiss

When to kiss is a good question. The appropriate time to kiss is when it’s the appropriate time.  Oh that was super helpful, right? Not! But seriously this awkward moment can be prevented through planning. When I was single I always made sure to discuss what he was looking for before we even met in person.

  • If he said something like ‘whatever’. That could mean he’s looking for friends, a hookup, or maybe possibly a long term relationship if you ‘wow’ him enough.
  • If he said ‘I’m just looking for friends’ that probably means he’s looking for friends with benefits. You don’t need to go on a dating app for friends.
  • If he says he’s looking for a serious relationship then take him at his word. On these dates, you really need to be the most cautious. Guys who are serious don’t come around too often.

To Kiss or Not to Kiss? That is The Question

If he says he’s looking for ‘whatever’ most of those dates just end up becoming hookups or friends with benefits anyway. So if you have feelings he’s down for it there’s nothing wrong with giving him a peck on the cheek and seeing if he goes for more. When I was on a date with a guy in the movie theater if he leaned into me I’d give him a peck on the cheek.  Then he’d usually turn his head facing me and we’d do a tongue dance  Then after the movie, I’d ask him what he wants to do. He’d usually say go to my place, get a snack, or something else.

If he says he’s looking for a serious relationship the same thing would apply except I’d never ask a guy I was serious about to go to my place. I know we’ve all heard stories of guys who did the deed on the first date and it worked out for them. But I think that’s the exception rather than the rule. If you go all the way it’s more likely you’ve turned it into a hookup or possibly just friends with benefits.

I say to make him wait a little bit of time before taking him to bed. People like mystery and if you make him work for it a least a little bit he’ll have more respect for you.

What if He Won’t Kiss You?

It can be an ego deflator to be refused a kiss but don’t be too worried. Most of the time if a guy refuses to kiss you its because he’s trying to show you he wants a real relationship and not just a romp on the bed or that he’s not interested.  If he wasn’t interested then you didn’t lose anything since there wasn’t going to be a second date anyway.

I’ve never seen a guy refuse a second date just because the guy tried to kiss him. If he declines a second date there were other reasons he is no longer interested the least of which were a kiss.

Should I Kiss a Guy on The First Date?

Personally I’ve kissed almost every guy I’ve gone out with on the first date. Probably because I really like kissing but not everyone is the same. There’s nothing wrong with kissing on the first date but I wouldn’t recommend going any further if you’re serious about the guy.   It’s really a matter of what have you got to lose? If you just do the peck on the cheek method and he doesn’t reciprocate it’s no big deal.  If he likes you he’ll agree to a second date. If he doesn’t, so what? There are other guys out there.

Try Not to Worry too Much

Trust me, I know how it feels to be a worrywart. I’ve found the best way to get over it is to go with the flow. If you want to kiss him then do it. If you don’t then don’t. Guys are attracted to confidence more than anything else. So you kissing him can show that you are a confident person. Fear of losing him can cause you to act awkwardly and turn him off. If you act like you know there will be other guys out there if he doesn’t like you, you’ll exude more confidence and ironically that will drive him closer to you!

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