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The Truth About eHarmony and Gay Dating

People love eHarmony. It has many safeguards and has a scientific matching algorithm to help match you with the best possible partner. However, those in the LGBT community might be wondering if they are included too.

Does eHarmony Have Gay Dating?

The answer to ‘Does eharmony have gay dating?’ is yes. It’s called Compatible Partners. This is the eHarmony for gay guys and gals. You get tailor-made questions for LGBT members.  But is it all it’s cracked up to be? Well, here are some considerations you should…well…consider before you sign up.

Compatible Partners Considerations

First of all, it’s not free. That’s can be good or bad depending upon your perspective. On the one hand, you get what you pay for. When I was single I was happy knowing that anyone I get a message from had skin in the game. Plus, most guys who can afford a subscription have a J-O-B! That meant no more “Wow I love you so much, btw I’m getting evicted from my apartment can I move in with you” messages.   On the other hand, shelling out $30 a month when there are so many free sites out there can be a tough sell for some people.

Second, you have to do a long and I mean long questionnaire. When I first signed up for it the questionnaire took approximately half an hour to complete. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through as I was doing it. The questionnaire has two purposes. 1 to help the system find you the best possible matches 2. to weed out those who aren’t serious. If you’re a gay man that means no more guys who are just looking for ‘whatever’. And if you’re a lesbian no more women who just want to experiment after their male ex-boyfriend cheated on them.

Third, both sides have to pay to communicate. I think eharmony is really behind on the times in that they still require both sides to pay in order to communicate. The official reason is probably because they want both sides to have skin in the game, but I’m sure the real reason is something else ($$).

Honestly, I can see why both sides having skin in the game is important but it sucks that if you finally see someone you really think would be compatible you may not be able to communicate with them if they’re not also a paying member.  requires both sides to take its questionnaire but only requires that one side has to pay in order to communicate which is nice. You can still respond to messages with a free account on

Fourth, you can only communicate who the machine matches you with. Unlike most dating sites eHarmony doesn’t just turn you loose to go searching for a partner. You’re only allowed to send a message to those who the system has matched you with. You’ll receive an email with your new matches a once or twice a week depending on your settings, but you’re not allowed to do a zip code search of all members.

Fifth, eHarmony didn’t want our business in the first place. Like it’s cousin, Christian Mingle, eHarmony didn’t want LGBT citizens on its site initially, citing ‘religious liberty’. Compatible Partners was started as a result of a settlement once they got sued for their bigotry.  The initial owner, Neil Clark Warren has stated that he believes marriage is between a man and a woman and wants to protect the ‘sanctity of marriage’. Some people may not want to support such a site, although it is important to note Neil Clark Warren is no longer the owner and he’s now divorced. So much for the ‘sanctity of marriage’ huh Niel?

Sixth, Compatible Partners only serves those seeking heteronormative relationships.  Is polyamory your thing? You’re out of luck with Compatible Partners. They even have ads saying it is for ‘gay Christian dating’. They probably don’t even want those who are into open relationships. They pretty much only support gays and lesbians seeking a heteronormative or ‘traditional’ marriage. I didn’t see much on there for our trans brothers and sisters either.

Related: How to Find a Gay Top

Is Compatible Partners Worth It?

For me yes it was worth it since I was actually ready to settle down and have a serious relationship without the drama. That’s why Compatible Partners is on my list of best gay dating sites for guys that are serious.  That being said if you’re just looking for a fling or friend with benefits that doesn’t really know what he wants then I would go with instead. If you’re just looking for a romp then, of course, Grindr is the app of choice.

There’s nothing wrong with giving it a shot. You can set up a profile for free if you use this link and see your matches, but you won’t be able to do much else until you pay.

Who Owns eHarmony?

eharmony was founded by Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist, with his son-in-law. Warren and his son-in-law created Neil Clark Warren & Associates, a seminar company, in 1995. The company eventually became the dating website eharmony. In 2018, German mass media company ProSiebenSat. Media purchased eharmony via their Nucom e-commerce division (a joint venture of ProSiebanSat and private equity firm General Atlantic). 

Lesbian Alternatives to eHarmony

If you identify as Lesbian eharmony isn’t the only place you can go. Many women have found their partners on

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