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Learn How to Actually Get Your Ex Back And Keep Your Dignity

Thinking of getting back with your ex? I think most of us have been there and it’s a hard decision to make. We’ve all heard stories of how it ended horribly but other stories on how people who got back with their ex ended up tying the not.  Unless he abused you I say it’s worth a try.

Gay Relationships Getting Back With Your Ex

There are several things to consider if you’re unsure whether you should get your ex back. First off, why did you guys break up? Did that thing change? Do you really want a relationship with him or do you just miss having a relationship?

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back (gay)

Okay so you’ve decided you want to try to get your ex back but you’re not sure how to go about it. If you want to get your ex back here are some steps you should consider taking to get him back. Here is my step-by-step guide to getting your gay ex-boyfriend back.

#1 Be a Diamond Not a Flip Phone

Ever wonder why Diamonds are so expensive? Duh, because they’re rare! Except, not really. According to The Massachusetts Institute of Technology, via CNN, diamonds are far from rare.

In fact, they estimate that the Earth has 1 quadrillion (1,000,000,000,000,000) tons of diamonds!  So then why are they so expensive? Because the world’s supply of diamonds is controlled by DeBeers which keeps the supply low and the prices high.

The point I’m making is this, by making yourself scarce and hard to get, you increase your perceived value. Begging does the opposite of that. Notice how most cell phone companies have commissioned salesmen begging (selling) you to purchase a cell phone subscription which costs roughly $60-$80 a month, yet you seldom see advertisements for diamonds anymore even though they cost substantially more?

People are attracted to and value things that are hard to obtain. The most important way to make someone like you is to show them that you don’t need them. You do that by not being afraid to walk away.

Once he sees that you’re not afraid to walk away you may notice him calling more and more until he’s blowing up your phone to get back with you.  Which brings me to my next point…

#2 Please Don’t Beg 

I apologize for belaboring the point but begging is a horrible way to get someone back. As I discussed earlier people are attracted to things that are difficult to obtain. Begging does the exact opposite.  It makes you appear desperate and needy.

Even if he does acquiesce and takes you back you’ve ceded all the power in the relationship to him. He can do virtually anything he wants because he knows you’re desperate to have him. You’re better off being single with a kleenex and pornhub than to be in a relationship like that.

#3 Take a Hike!

Most people, hopefully, know its not a good idea to beg. So what should you do? You create a new attractive lifestyle without him. He needs to see that you’ve moved on. Make sure you’re posting pictures of yourself having a good time with friends (but don’t overdo it). Trust me, he’s still looking at your Facebook. Go out and get to know new people, but don’t get a rebound boyfriend, that’s not fair.

Try to find some new hobbies if you don’t have any. We often spend way too much time on our phones. Why not take a hike? Go roller skating.  Just do SOMETHING that can get you out of the house and distract you from your phone and thoughts. By creating a life without him you may realize that it was for the best that you and your boyfriend broke up.

# 4 Reflect

The reason I like hikes is that you don’t need someone else to have a good time. I love taking solo hikes because they give me time to reflect. Try taking a hike, once you’ve reached the hilltop or wherever turn off your phone and reflect on your relationship. I mean dig deep and meditate.  Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why did the relationship end?
  • Was this relationship healthy for me?
  • Why do I really want him back?
  • Is it possible there’s someone else out there who can meet my needs better?
  • If we did get back together how would we keep whatever caused the breakup from happening again?
  • Is it worth the effort?

This shouldn’t be something you take lightly. Spend as much time as you need but don’t answer these questions too quickly. I highly advise bringing a pen and paper and writing these questions (and answers down). You’d be shocked by the power of actually writing something out instead of just thinking about it.

#5 Contact Him in a Healthy State

After you’ve completed the previous steps, then and only then, should you contact him if you’ve decided you do indeed want to try again. I don’t recommend you start by asking him to get back with you. I would begin by just having a good conversation. Ask him to join you for a cup of coffee and just talk about your lives and what you’ve been doing since the breakup. If he exaggerates about all the fun he’s having that’s a good sign he misses you.

Once you’ve had a few good conversations tell him that you miss him. If you’ve done steps 1-4 correctly and he sees the new powerful, sexy, and beautiful new you, if its meant to be the spark will come back. The point is you should present yourself in a way that he can’t help but respect. That means not having sex right away, and not trying to boast or fish for compliments.  Remember people desire things that are hard to obtain.

#6 Get Someone Better

Once you’ve completed steps 1-5 and you’ve decided it’s not worth all the drama and heartache again or he doesn’t realize what a great diamond he’s leaving behind, it could be time to move on.  There are tons of places to meet gay men. Most gay relationships begin online which is why I have made my list of best gay dating sites and app for those who are serious about a relationship.

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